"The last woman I was in was the Statue of Liberty."

"Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition."

A woman at a golf course begins yelling, ''I've been stung by a bee!'' Her golf instructor asks her where she had been stung. ''Between the first and second hole,'' she replies. The golf instructor tells her, ''Oh, your stance is too wide.''

What food diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%? Her wedding cake.

"I never had hips. It's because I don't have kids. Everybody tells me that once I have a kid, I'll grow some hips. That's cool, but what do you do with the kid?"