Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a

Nov. 19, 2023, 4:53 a.m.

Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a pool.

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You know you're getting old when you stop to tie your

Nov. 19, 2023, 4:53 a.m.

You know you're getting old when you stop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.

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Just relax and breathe through your ass

Nov. 19, 2023, 4:53 a.m.

Just relax and breathe through your ass.

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A man visits his doctor with celery stalks stuck in each

Nov. 19, 2023, 4:53 a.m.

A man visits his doctor with celery stalks stuck in each ear and a carrot stick up each nostril. He mumbles, "Doc, I'm just not feeling well." The doctor replies, "Maybe you're not eating right."

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I never use a napkin on my lap at a restaurant, because

Nov. 19, 2023, 4:53 a.m.

I never use a napkin on my lap at a restaurant, because... I believe in myself.

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