He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.

Police Officer: "How high are you?" Pothead: "No officer, it's "Hi, How are you?"

A blonde and a brunette were talking one day. The brunette said that her boyfriend had a slight dandruff problem but she gave him "Head and Shoulders" and it cleared it up. The blonde asked inquisitively: "How do you give shoulders?"

I know I'm not buying anything, and you know I'm not buying anything, but I want to know how much the sh*t I'm not buying costs.

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.