An elderly man was on the operating table awaiting surgery to be performed by his son, a renowned surgeon. Just before they would put him under, he asked to speak to his son: "Dont be nervous, son, do your best and just remember, if it doesnt go well, if something happens to me your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife."

"Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition."

Where does a one-armed man shop? At a second-hand store.

Being a woman is a terribly difficult trade since it consists principally of dealings with men.

A blind man walks into a bar with his seeing-eye dog. He stands in the centre of the bar, takes the dog by the chain, and starts swinging him above his head. Everyone stops and stares. Upset about the way the animal is being treated, a patron runs up to the blind man and demands, "What the hell are you doing?" The blind man turns toward the patron and says, "Oh, nothing, just looking around."