Do not be racist; be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!

What did God say when he made the first black man? Damn, I burnt one.

Why can't a blonde dial 911? She can't find the eleven.

I just got a photo from a speeding camera through the mail. I sent it right back, way too expensive and really bad quality.

Late one night a robber wearing a mask stopped a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs. "Give me your money," he demanded. Scandalized, the man replied, "You cant do this Im a US Congressman!" "Oh! In that case," smiled the robber, "Give me MY money!"