Why was the Pepsi employee fired? He tested positive for coke.

How do we know the earth isn't flat? If it were flat, cats would have already pushed everything off of it.

Don't you think it's better to be extremely happy for a short while, even if you lose it, than to be just okay for your whole life?

How come it takes so long to build a blonde snowman? Because you have to hollow out the head.

Do not be racist; be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!