A boy and his dad are talking. - Hey Dad. - Yes son?- - Did you ever get shot in the army? He looks at his son in silence. Tears start to form in the Dad's eyes, and he quietly replies; - No, but I was shot in the leggy.

Somebody stole my mood ring I'm not quite sure how I feel about it.

Why are all Jewish men circumcised? Because Jewish women won't touch anything that's not 10% off

I told the paramedics the wrong blood type for my ex. Now she'll know what rejection feels like

I'm 60 days clean now. It's been hard showering every day, but thankfully I had heroin to help me through it.