My girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman and told me I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed. After 2 minutes all charges were dropped due to a lack of evidence.

Children in the backseat can cause accidents. Accidents in the backseat can cause children.

A blonde and a brunette walk past a flower shop and the brunette sees her boyfriend buying flowers. She sighs and says, "Oh crap, my boyfriend is buying me flowers again. Now, I'll be expected to spend the weekend on my back with my legs in the air." The blonde says, "Don't you have a vase?"

I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet. I asked my 17 brothers and sisters and they didn't know either.

My girlfriend asked me to name all the women I've slept with. I probably should've stopped when I got to her.