My wife has a whale tattooed ... It used to be a dolphin.

My boss pulled up to work in his sweet new car this morning and I complimented him on it. He replied: "Well, if you work hard, set goals, stay determined and put in long hours, I can get an even better one next year."

Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything.

Did you know that you can tell how smart an ant is by catching it on fire? If it burns, it's a smart ant. If it doesn't, it's retardant.

Balance is key in life.