A man goes to a bar and sees a fat girl dancing on a table. He walks over to her and says, "Wow, nice legs!" She is flattered and replies, "You really think so?" The man says, "Oh definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."

What did the boy with no arms get for his Birthday? Don't know he hasn't opened it yet...

There's a way of telling if an orange is male or female. If it squirts you in your eye without warning, it's a male. If it's bitter for no apparent reason, it's a female.

My biggest fear, when I first started dating, was meeting the girl's father. But I mainly dated black girls, so it was never really an issue.

The condom was first invented by a Welshman by using a sheep's intestine. The English later improved it by removing the intestine from the sheep first.