I just bought a thesaurus and when I got it home, all the pages were blank. I have no words to describe how angry I am.

Whats the difference between a politician and a flying pig? The letter F.

I just found out I'm colorblind The diagnosis came completely out of the purple.

Being circumcised, I couldn't join a fraternity... Apparently you have to be complete dick.

The police stops a computer hardware engineer: Your light isnt working. You have to get off your bike. IT guy: I tried that but the light still isnt working.