Why is it a bad idea for two butt cheeks to get married? Because they part for every little shit.

If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.

One time, a guy handed me a picture and said, "Here's a picture of me when I was younger". Every picture of you is when you were younger.

Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.