Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.

Nobody dies a virgin... Life fucks us all.

A man walks by a blonde, who is holding a pig. The man asks, "Where did you get her?" The pig answered, "I won her at the fair."

It is a curious thought, but it is only when you see people looking ridiculous that you realize just how much you love them.

I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."