What is the difference between a two-year-old and an adult male? A two-year-old can be left alone with a nanny.

What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.

What do you call a stolen Tesla? An Edison.

A man goes to a bar and sees a fat girl dancing on a table. He walks over to her and says, "Wow, nice legs!" She is flattered and replies, "You really think so?" The man says, "Oh definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."

What did the boy with no arms get for his Birthday? Don't know he hasn't opened it yet...